Are Vikings fan's emotional levees about to be breached?

With Daunte Culpepper lost for the season with several injuries to his knee, one wonders if Mike Tice is soon to follow. One could already argue that Tice is already mentally lost, but what we are really starting to see is that fans have had just about enough of Mr. Tice, his coaching staff, and the sub-par performances put forth by his team.

How much more suffering can Viking's fans take? Apparently, not much more. The emotional dam appears to be ready to burst like Pat Williams belly after a Friday night carb feed. After speaking with a well-known football scholar from Wyoming, MN, this reporter confirmed what he already knew, that the Viking's with Tice as head coach are officially cooked. When asked about what lies ahead for the rest of the Vike's season, our football guru responded, "Stick a fork in them, because they’re Dungy." When asked to further expand on his thoughts specifically about coach Tice he responded, "F*&kum!" He then added, "Tice and Culpepper can both blow me as they have already ruined my fantasy football season. At least that way, I would get something out of them."
Conclusion: The levees holding back Viking's fans emotions are on the verge of being breached.

Tice fires team up with halftime locker room speech

Apparently, Coach Tice fired his team up with a negative reinforcement speech at halftime of the Vikings game against the Packers. It’s that speech that Tice believes may have turned the tide and stoked the Vikings come from behind win.

No one seems to be talking about what was said in this speech, so we’ll have to do some improvising and use our imagination. As you’re wondering what may have been said, I’ll set the stage and give you points to ponder. The Vikings were 1-4, their coach was voted one of the worst in the league by NFL fans, prior to the start of the season they were Super Bowl contenders, a plethora of players have had legal troubles and used questionable judgment, and their coach is likely on the chopping block. Also, keep in mind that, by his estimation, Tice used a negative tone for the first time in two years.

Tice starts, “Guys, I don’t know if any of you have looked at the scoreboard, but we’re down in this game and we’re going to lose if you don’t shape up. My mentor, Denny Green, once said, “When you got two teams and both of um want to win. When that happens, only one of um can.” “Now let’s turn this thing around!”

As several players look at each other dumbfounded, Coach Tice turns up the heat and let’s them have it. “Darn it guys! (as he snaps his pencil, to the gasp of Daunte and others) I’m going to lose my f’ing job. I can’t coach, the fans don’t like me, my players don’t respect me, and I don’t even get a courtesy invite to a party aboard a prostitute filled boat.” As halftime ends, Tice screams at his players, “Now, damn it, let’s go out there and win one for the Gifford!”

“Coach”, Matt Birk says as the players walk back onto the field, “It’s win one for the Gipper, not Gifford. You’re thinking about Frank Gifford. The quote you’re referring to is actually from the retelling of the last conversation famed Notre Dame head coach Knute Rockne had with the greatest player he'd ever coached; George Gipp…”

In the end, the team goes onto win the game against the Packers. 80 years from now, during halftime, some NFL head coach, somewhere with his team trailing will whisper to one of his assistants, “I’m pulling a play out of famed Minnesota Vikings coach Mike Tice’s playbook.” To the team, “Guys, I don’t know if any of you have looked at the scoreboard…”

Check out the Vikings version of the Gilligan's Island theme song!

This is hilarious!!!

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“I don't know, I'm not a psychologist."

After yesterday’s disappointing (but expected) loss to the Chicago Bears, Mike Tice said, “I don't know, I'm not a psychologist. I can't tell you how much.''

What was Tice referencing? Was he talking about how much the “sex cruise” impacted his player’s performance or was he talking about how much Viking’s fans want him fired?

The Vikings, who before the season began, were being heralded as Super Bowl bound and the “best” team in the NFC, are lost and desperately need a change of direction. Firing Tice is the first step.

If this first step doesn’t happen soon, Tice may take matters into his own hands and set-up a “team sponsored” brothel that players can go to in peace without fear of reprisal from wait staff, media, or fans. A brothel that takes care of their needs as professional athletes and knows what the stresses of football can do if left unchecked.

If Tice is kept around, what will the next headline be? “Several Minnesota Vikings players arrested at Gay 90’s. Sources say most were high on crack cocaine and engaged in male-on-male sex.”

This is getting ridiculous.

Was Tice on the "sex cruise"???

The Hennepin County Sheriff's office is investigating reports that a party on a pair of cruise boats, arranged by a prominent Minnesota Vikings player, included nudity, lewd behavior and sex acts.

The incident(s) apparently happened on Lake Minnetonka last Thursday night aboard two of Al and Alma's chartered cruise boats. According to Stephen Doyle, a lawyer for Al and Alma's, "There was some physical contact, some sexual contact that was troubling to one or more of the crew members."

A few questions need to be answered. Was Tice was on the boat? If so, was he involved in any of the sex acts? Was he performing sex acts on any Vikings players, like say maybe Daunte?

Hmmmm. I've always wondered about Coach Tice and how far he might go to appease his players. This would give new meaning to the term "player's coach."

(source KARE11)

Ragnar surely embarrassed by Tice and Vikings performance.

Minnesota Vikings mascot, Ragnar the Viking, would surely be embarrassed by the performance Mike Tice and the MN Vikings put on in Atlanta yesterday. Coach Tice and the Vikings should be ashamed of themselves as they could likely cause Ragnar, the ONLY “human” mascot in professional sports, to lose his spirit and shave his beard, sell his Harley, cut his hair, and throw away his Viking garb.

What may have caused Ragnar’s potential distress?

- 11 penalties (many on coach Tice’s pride, the offensive line.)
- Poor performance by Culpepper (could set a new NFL record for turnovers this season.)
- No defense (you know something’s wrong when Matt Schaub tears up your defense.)
- Tice wearing bi-focals (and not chewing on his pencil.)
- Tice’s “deer in the headlights” look during much of the game.
- Knowing that Tice must not care about the Superbowl since he scalped his own tickets.

The world stepped up for Hurricane Katrina relief. Now, we really need the world to step up and call for Tice to be fired, so Zygi can start a new chapter in Minnesota. Hopefully, this will be a chapter that makes Ragnar proud to ride that roaring Harley out onto the field in front of the Minnesota faithful, hair and beard waving in the wind, all to help the Purple march onto victory.

Think about it. Do we really want to see Ragnar, clean shaven with short hair, sporting Ralph Lauren gear? No way! Fire Mike Tice before this theoretical travesty comes true.